


Do you miss me?

by byAlessandra



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:13:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27106273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byAlessandra/pseuds/byAlessandra
Summary: Damn, if he got told that he would get so attached to his teammate before he met Max, then he would have laughed.But now he is standing here, missing the person who is supposed to be his biggest rival, his biggest enemy.Orthe fic inspired by the interview in which Daniel asks Max if he misses him
Relationships: Daniel Ricciardo & Max Verstappen, Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen
Comments: 3
Kudos: 98





	Do you miss me?

**Author's Note:**

> the interview made me do it...  
> Hope you are enjoying this, wrote it instead of sleeping because who needs that anyway, am I right? :)

Daniel misses Max.

He has tried to ignore it, tried to push down that nagging feeling in his chest.  
On most days, he manages to do that just fine.  
But it's not easy to do it when Max is around. It's not easy when Max is standing right next to him, so close yet so far away.

They have never had that distance between them before when they were teammates. They were always so comfortable with each other all the time, there was never a time where Daniel felt like there was something between them. But now he does.  
It's his own fault. He left RedBull for Renault. He left Max. And for what now, exactly? A car that's not bringing him anywhere near his goals anyway.

Sometimes it's overwhelming for Daniel.

Sometimes he still finds himself walking into a room and heading straight towards Max out of instinct, just to be reminded that that's not his place anymore.  
Now it's another teammate next to Max.

  
Sometimes he still sits in a meeting, eyes looking for Max out of instinct, just to be reminded that Max will no longer attend the same team meetings as him.  
Now it's another teammate next to Daniel.

  
Sometimes he still gets out of his car after a good race, his body longing for a warm hug by Max out of instinct, just to be reminded that he has no reason to be hugging Max. Now it's someone else doing so.  
It's someone else, and Daniel can't stand it.

  
Can't stand it because he wants to be the one Max is pulling into his arms. Can't stand it because everytime he sees Max and his new teammate doing so, Max doesn't seem to think about Daniel for even just a second while Daniel is left standing there, heart beating painfully against his ribs and a bitter taste in the back of his mouth.

Can't stand it, because he can be in the best mood when he is scrolling through his feed until his eyes land on a new Red Bull promo video and he sees Max laughing brightly, but it's not with Daniel, when it used to be him, when it should be him.  
But it seems that 'used to be' is Daniel's new thing. He doesn't want it to be, but now there is nothing he can do about it anymore. He made his decision back then - more than often he thinks it was a mistake - and he is the one paying for it now.

But God, he misses a certain Dutch boy with dirty blonde hair that's hidden underneath a cap almost 24/7 and piercing blue eyes that are almost as deep as the oceans. Sometimes they are as dark as a brooding storm above the sea and sometimes they shine as bright turquoise as the water in the Maldives.  
He misses a certain wide smile and hoarse laugh and witty comebacks, despite the language barrier. Daniel is sure that Max for a lot of times has the best comebacks in his mother tongue but just can't translate them as well into English.  
Their never-ending back and forth has always been Daniel's favorite thing about them.  
When he first met Max, he never would have expected for them to click that well. Yet they somehow just did.

  
The man with the widest smile and always a joke on his lips and the boy with the fierceness dripping out of his every pore and his somewhat nervous tics.  
They just clicked into a rhythm that worked out so incredibly well, and now it feels like everything is out of sync.  
It feels so wrong, Daniel just wants to rip at all of it to slide it back into place, back into ease. But it doesn't. It just seems to get worse the more time passes.

So when they somewhat just randomly get called in to do a interview together, it hits Dan. Hard. Like a kick to his stomach, but he tries his best do keep his posture up.  
He keeps on like usual, throwing his jokes in at all times. And maybe that's the problem, the mistake he made. Because when he makes a joke about Bottas just being a rookie and he hears Max next to him make a choked sound before laughing, it stings in his heart. He doesn't even dare to turn around, but he knows just how bright Max' eyes are shining most likely right now.

  
And then they're taking about the glitter on their helmets and how they had the same helmet designers, and all of a sudden Dan can't stand it anymore. He doesn't fight the urge to lay his hand on Max's shoulder, rubbing it comfortingly.  
It stirs something in his heart once again; for the fact that Max used to flinch at the very beginning of them being teammates, every time Daniel would do something like this - as Max has never liked fast or unexpected movements towards him - and now he doesn't even seem to be fazed by it. They've come so far, and then Daniel just cut them short.

He repeats the question in his head a lot of times, although he has thought about it for so long. That one question that has been torturing him for quite some while now.  
It's weird, because Daniel usually never thinks about saying something before he does, he just goes ahead and speaks his mind. He doesn't spare it a second thought. But now he says the same thing over and over in his mind each time he does, his heart beats a bit faster. Max is still mid-sentence, talking something about the glitter but honestly Daniel has lost track of the conversation as he doesn't really think it matters. This one questions does though.

"Maybe the full car...", Max starts, but suddenly Daniel interrupts him, the words he has had in mind for so long now just leaving his mouth, as if he was afraid that if he didn't ask right now, he never would.

"Do you miss me?"

So much in this one single, simple question.  
Hope, hurt, longing, a little desperation.

Max keeps on talking for a second, and Daniel thinks that maybe he didn't hear him, but he sees it in the way Max' eyes flicker to him before he even reacts properly that he has. "Like even a-"  
Max seems to be taken aback, though he catches himself quite quickly.

"Do you miss me?" Max says and honestly, Daniel can't tell if he just repeated the question to check if he heard right or if he is asking Daniel back, but he isn't willing to take any risks.

"I asked first!", he throws back quickly, smiling although it doesn't come as naturally as normal.  
Max laughs, but then gets more serious, looking at the ground for a second.

Please answer, please answer, please answer.

Daniel doesn't think he has ever wanted someone to answer the same thing as him in his life. Because he doesn't think he can handle it if Max doesn't.

He knows that he caught him completely off-guard and Dan's breath hitches when Max eventually says  
"I-I, well I do miss it, sometimes. Yeah."

Sometimes. Max misses it, sometimes.  
Daniel misses him all the time.

"Yeah.", he says too, not trusting himself to answer anything else as he suddenly becomes aware again that they're still being filmed.  
He can't stop his mind from racing around one single thought.

Max misses him, too. Sometimes. But he still does.

Daniel isn't even sure why he suddenly says  
"... sharing bunk beds", but he is kind of glad that Max is talking over him at that moment.  
"Just, you know, when you get into a qualifying session? Trying to get the best out of each other." 

Getting the best out of each other has always been their thing.  
Daniel pushed, Max pushed harder.  
Max tried, Daniel tried even more.  
Admittedly, Dan doesn't think anyone else has ever made him want to push harder than he already does than Max.

But Daniel being Daniel, he hides it behind a joke.  
"Seeing my face across the room.."

Max stares at him for a moment, confusion flickering over his face for a split second. Not really related to the joke, but more to the whole situation. Daniel wouldn't be able to explain it to him, either.  
"Also", Max adds then, "we have shared a few rooms together."

They have. Dan's heart stings at the memories of them staying up late to watch some movies and somehow ending up asleep with the popcorn all over the bed and their limbs tangled into a mess. Sometimes they shared a room after a race - may it have been a good or bad one. They just seeked comfort in one another in a way Daniel couldn't ever do with anyone else. He knows the same goes for Max. Or at least, it did.  
Sometimes they would even just squeeze themselves onto a couch together that was definitely not made for more than one person, but they managed to do it without caring that their hips and knees dug into each other. As long as they could enjoy each other's presence, they didn't care.

  
Damn, if he got told that he would get so attached to his teammate before he met Max, then he would have laughed. But now he is standing here, missing the person who is supposed to be his biggest rival, his biggest enemy.

The interview somehow ends in a blur that Daniel wouldn't be able to recall if someone asked him to. Something about the interviewer saying "okay, we won't go into that" (was that guy there the whole time before?) and Daniel making some random moves in front of the camera.  
But he does remember one thing clear as day.

He remembers that he looked to Max, who already took a few steps back. He isn't sure what he actually wanted to say Max then, but he really would've liked to talk to him somewhere private and in the way Max seemed to hesitate he could tell that he maybe would have liked to talk, too. But then someone called Max's name, some RedBull guy that Daniel barely recognized, and Max started to walk backwards, his eyes still glued to Daniel.  
Daniel, who stood there as if he was frozen in place, who watched Max smile at him apologetically before he turned around and walked towards the man who called him.

  
Watching Max walk away hurt more than it should have.

Daniel almost doesn't knock on the door. He almost turns around again, to leave and go back to his own hotel room, where he would probably just try to distract himself from his misery with some shitty movie. Almost.

But he didn't come here for an almost. He didn't ask Max during an interview if he misses him just to not do anything now that he knows Max does.

He brings his knuckles up and knocks on the wooden door, the sound echoing in the hallway of the hotel.  
He thinks about knocking again, each second that's passing and no one answers the door makes Dan's heart beat faster.  
Maybe Max isn't even in his room. Maybe he is out with his other teammate, or just the team in general. They often would do something like this at RedBull.

Or maybe Max spends his night in his teammates room. Just like Daniel and him used to.  
Daniel's chest aches at the thought.  
But then the door gets pulled open to reveal a rather sleepy looking Max, whose eyes now settle on Dan as they widen in surprise.

"Daniel? What are you doing here?", Max doesn't sound accusing, just curious.

His hair is damp and looks brown, although Daniel noticed that his hair seems to have gotten darker generally. He wants to run his hand through it. He wonders briefly if he woke Max up.  
But to be honest, Daniel doesn't care anymore. All he cares about is one thing, the one thing he has been longing for months now. It's ridiculous, even, just how much he wants it.  
He steps forward, catching Max by surprise when he pushes past him to let himself into Max's room before kicking the door close behind him.  
The room is only dimly lit by a single night stand lamp.

"What-?", Max starts, brows furrowed in confusion but he doesn't get any further than that.

Daniel steps forward and pulls him linto his arms.  
Max quietly let's out a choked off noise that Dan can't interpret properly.

His heart cracks when he realizes Max isn't hugging him back. He just stands there, pressed against Daniel while his body is tense and unmoving.

The pieces of his heart fall to the ground, shattering even further.  
Max doesn't miss him. He probably just said that to not make the interview awkward.  
Oh God, Daniel is such a fool.

He lets out a shaky breath and curses himself when it sounds dangerously close to a quiet sob.  
Ashamed, he is about to pull back while he just wants a hole to appear in the floor and swallow him whole, when suddenly it seems like Max has come back to life.  
Dan all but lets out a gasp when Max slings his arms around his back and pulls him tightly into his chest again, and this time it's Daniel who almost forgets to hug back in shock, but when he does he is sure he almost squeezes Max to death. But he has absolutely no intention on letting him go, now that he can actually enjoy the embrace.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's okay.", Max whispers while softly rubbing Daniel's back up and down.  
Dan just presses his face into his shoulder and breathes in his scent that's just so familiarly Max, now freshly showered but somehow still with a hint of gasoline, like sweet chocolate and metal at the same time.  
He can't tell just how long they are standing there, pressed so close that there is no air in between them anymore.

Until Max eventually softly taps a finger against Daniel's shoulder. "Daniel?"  
Dan hums in response.

"You're breaking my ribs, mate."

Daniel chuckles. "I'm not", he mumbles, but nonetheless he lets go of Max and leans back to find blue eyes staring at him. Max smiles warmly and eventually leads him to his bed. Daniel notices that the covers look like they were thrown back and he is now quite sure that Max had already tried to fall asleep when he showed up.  
He sits down next to Max and starts to play with his fingers.  
"I'm sorry. For the interview, I mean. That was probably... uncalled for."

Max snorts quietly. "Well, it brought you here, now didn't it?", he says in his typical 'Dutch bluntness' as he liked to call it.

Daniel chuckles. "I guess. Still; sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for.", Max shoots him a smile and holds his gaze calmly.

It reminds Daniel once again of how mature Max has grown. Back then, in the early RedBull days of them being teammates, Max always used to be restless. His eyes used to flicker around all the time, nervous or maybe also calculating, always ready to look for any kind of harm towards him. He always used to hold a certain space in between himself and other people, never liked it when someone stood or sat too close.

Now he is much calmer and self-aware.  
It makes Daniel's chest bloom with pride.

Max yawns and it tears Daniel out of his thoughts again. He realizes that he didn't think this through. He has so many things he wants to say to Max, so many questions he wants the answers to but now that he actually has the chance to talk, he figures he has no clue how to bring his thoughts into words.

"Can we go to sleep? I feel like I could use a whole winter's sleep.", Max then states as he already starts to crawl underneath the blanket again.

Daniel's looks at him with uncertainty. "I- can I stay?" 

Max rolls his eyes and shoves him with his foot. "Of course you are staying. Come on now, and turn off the light. I don't wanna move."

Daniel huffs out a breath but does as he is told, before shrugging off his jacket and out of his trousers.  
Slipping underneath the blanket next to Max feels as natural as it always has and he has no troubles finding comfort laying next to Max, shuffling so he can face the Dutchman next to him who already closed his eyes. It's dark and Daniel can barely even make out the outlines of his face.

"Oh man, you know what people will think if someone finds out about this, right?", Daniel whisper-laughs.

"I don't give a shit", Max mumbles and makes Daniel laugh again with his brutal honesty.  
"But I still think yellow doesn't suit you, just so you know. Or that's not true, it does, just not Renault yellow. It's as ugly as Esteban.".

This time it's Daniel who snorts amused.  
It's quiet for some time then, and Daniel thinks that Max might have already fallen asleep, with his face pressed into the pillow and the blanket pulled up to his chin.

"I'm sorry, Max.", he whispers anyway and watches Max' form rise up in a quiet sigh.

"What for, now?", he grumbles, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"For being an asshole. At the start of the season, I mean. I ignored you, because I didn't know how to handle it all and.. it was just an idiotic move. Sorry."

This time, Max cracks open an eye and studies Daniel for a moment.  
"It's alright. I didn't behave any better, either."

Daniel opens his mouth to say something, but he gets cut off. "Uh uh, it's too late to talk about this. I need to sleep.", Max mumbles into the blanket and Daniel smiles while he pulls in his knee just enough for it to touch Max' leg.

"I forgot how unbearable you can get without your sleep. Or food."

Max just hums something that sounds like _'night, and don't you dare put your fucking cold feet onto me_ ' and Daniel chuckles. Any other time he would have probably done exactly that; put his cold feet onto Max to watch him shriek and hurry away.

  
But not today. Today, he is more than happy to find peace in between them, letting the warm feeling wash over him like a soft, gentle wave.

"Good night, Maxy."

It doesn't take too long till sleep pulls Daniel in, too, and it does while he still has a smile on his face.  
They will be alright, after all.

.


End file.
